Let’s take a moment away from universal problems and look at the way planets and their moons get their names.
Once the dominance of the Arabic era over Science ended, stars received the names of classical gods. Asteroids, initially thought to be stars, received feminized names of gods when the distinctions between the two became clear.
Moons of most planets have the names of the Greek counterparts to the Roman gods. The exception? Anyone versed in Astrology knows it has to be quirky Uranus. Only Uranus, the ruler of Aquarius, have the names of Shakespearean characters. John Herschel, son of Uranus’ discoverer William Herschel is responsible for this diversion. We know how rebellious Uranus can be!
We name comets after their discoverer or a person the discoverer designates. However, they always receive names of a person.