Today we are in Zodiac Land during a huge blizzard. Your intrepid reporter is visiting the various signs to see how they are coping with the snow.
Ah, there is Mr. Aries, the Ram. I can tell it is he by the gleam coming off his warrior armor. “Excuse me, Mr. Aries. Oh I see there is not a lick of snow on your property. How did you get rid of three feet of snow while it is still falling?”
I have to jump back as Aries swings around wielding his flame thrower. “I torched it all away – gone, gone – It is annihilated! All encumbrances must be out of my way immediately so my precious freedom is preserved. Freedom is so much more than nothing else to loose – it is all – it is power – it is MINE!”
“OK Aries – cool it with the blowtorch you are getting a bit carried away. Didn’t all of that snow torching cause a flood in your neighbor’s yard?”
“And your point is?”
I try to continue the conversation but Aries has found a small mound of ice that did not yield to his earlier torching and jumps on it with wild abandon. In the distance I see Ms. Taurus the Bull looking quite out of sorts.
“What is happening Taurus?”
“Oh this is so dreadful. Look at what that awful snow did to my lovely pasture. It is so cold on my feet and it takes so much effort to dig out a little spot. Then I will have to carry wood to make a fire. Effort, effort – so unpleasant. However, look what I found!”
She brightens as she displays a long scarf and matching booty set.
“This makes it so much more palatable. Feel the softness of this material. I love soft.”
Taurus begins to wrap herself in the scarf.
“Taurus, Taurus! Stop you are knocking over… Taurus! Don’t you have to bring in the wood?”
She can’t hear me as she literally rolls away, just a huge blur of comfortable material. In her path is Mr. Gemini who is fortunately fast enough to avoid the whirling Bull.
“Snow, snow, snow. Snow can’t stop me – see I have read fifteen books since it started. See – look at my books – and letters – I wrote my entire family ten letters. No snow will stop me – nothing will. Must gather, must disseminate information. Oh, what if the mail doesn’t come? How will I get the letters out? I will run through the snow in my golden boots and have Mercury light my path. Yes, that is what I will do. Must run – must…”
In a flash Gemini is gone – but I follow the path he blazed in the snow to arrive at Ms. Cancer’s home. Her always well-appointed cottage has a roaring fire going and as soon as I open the door the smell of chocolate chip cookies surrounds me. It is no wonder. I see that she has already baked 15 dozen.
“Cookie, dear? Oh and let me fix you some steaming tea. Come sit by the fire and let me wrap you in the blanket I just made. Are you warm? Are you sure? Really? Anything else I can get for you? Sure?”
I thank her for her generosity which is difficult because she is cramming more cookies in my face.
“The snow makes me so emotional. I just want to sit by the window and knit sweaters for all the little creatures in the forest. It kills me that I can’t make the entire world warm.”
Ms. Cancer begins to weep and runs into her room in typical Cancer the Crab style. After attempting her to get out of her “shell” several times I grab a few cookies and move on. She will get over it, she just needs her time alone.
“Come here and look at me!” I know I am in the land of Leo the Lion.
“Hello Leo. How are you coping with the storm?”
“I love it – the reflection from the snow does show me at my ultimate beauty don’t you think? I could just look at myself for hours in this light. It does such wonders for my complexion. Aren’t you lucky to be seeing me at my best?”
“Ah, I guess so. You have a remarkably well plowed driveway. Who did it?”
Mr. Leo tries to remember a name but it is futile. “Someone. People are so lucky to do for me. However, you must leave me as it is time for my ice rub – it is an exclusive process known only to a few and just does wonders for my skin. It will make me all the more handsome if you can believe it.”
I guess I have to believe it, Leo will have it no other way. As I turn to leave his palace, I come across Ms. Virgo slogging through the snow, carrying a huge load of wood planks and looking quite upset. “What is the matter Ms. Virgo?”
“Oh my poor little vegetable garden. I built a cold frame for winter but as usual I didn’t do a good enough job, because well do I ever? Now the storm is making all the vegetables freeze and I am trying to reinforce the frame. Oh stupid me – I fail again. What else is new?”
“Come one Virgo, you aren’t that bad. This is a terrible, freak storm and it came up quickly. Don’t blame yourself.”
“Well who can I blame then? I never reach perfection. I try and try and always fall short just like I fell short supporting my little veggies.”
Try as I might I can’t convince Virgo that no one is perfect and to take a moment to stop working and enjoy the beauty of the snow. I leave her muttering a list of self-imperfections.
“Are you coming to the party?” Mr. Libra startles me.
“Party in this weather?”
“Of course, a snow party. You know I excel at relating with people and love nothing more than to entertain. Was that Virgo over there looking glum again? I do so worry about Virgo and do my best to snap her out of her doldrums. I should do more, more, more. I can never help enough you know.”
Having a conversation with those air signs is such a chore. Finally I can break in.
“Libra, you can’t fix the whole world. Everyone has their own path.”
Libra’s face has that dazed look he always gets when someone tries to explain co-dependence. “Really, you can’t live someone else’s life.”
Libra is deflating. “Yes, whatever. Ah, do come over for the party though. I made the best dumplings. They are perfect party food because you can eat and talk and relate – we all must relate to one another you know.”
I leave Libra and set out on a hunt for Scorpio. This is never easy – particularly in a storm. No one can burrow like Scorpio. Eventually I find the entrance to her house.
“Scorpio, are you home?”
“Of course I am home and in my bed. ACK – shut the door! I hate the bright light from the snow. Is it is still snowing? I do love storms – I can stay in bed, read, write and binge watch bloody movies. You aren’t staying too long are you? Of course, you aren’t.”
“Ah no – ouch!” I always forget how dark it is in Scorpio’s cave. “So I gather you aren’t going to Libra’s party.”
Scorpio shoots me a look so withering it takes the breath out me. I have my answer. Try as I might I can’t engage Scorpio in conversation as she is too wrapped up in her movies and her alone time. I sneak out only to hear her screech when I open the door and allow the light in again.
“Really, you are wearing that coat? It makes you look like a cow.” Yes, I am in the land of Mr. Sagittarius, the Archer who aims his arrow at the truth and brings it down home hard no matter the consequences. Of course, the truth is always his truth as no one else’s really matters.
“Gee thanks. How are you dealing with the storm?”
“Perfectly. I know exactly how to handle myself in all-weather situations. You do know that I know everything about everything.”
“You have told me…a few times”
Sagittarius has a satisfied, knowing look on his face as he turns back into his house. “Do you want to see my research library? There is no better in the world.”
I decline as I need to get to Ms. Capricorn before travel gets even more treacherous. “Oh Capricorn. I hope she has fixed her hair finally I told her it looked like a rat trap.”
I did not share Sagittarius’ comments with Ms. Capricorn as she is so prone to despondency anyway. Besides, she looks upset and is pacing, pacing, pacing.
“Capricorn, what is the matter?”
“I am trapped. Even with my goat power I can’t push the snow away and it has trapped me! I can’t accomplish anything. I have to do something – be of some utilitarian service. I have to…”
“OK OK but no one expects you to do your normal yeoman’s work in a blizzard. Maybe you should relax and take a day for yourself.”
Capricorn blanches. “No one expects – but I expect – I have to carry the load – I have to do it all or what good am I?”
“People will like you for who you are even if you don’t work yourself to death – really – trust me.” I see it is of no use. Capricorn is sharpening her goat horns in another attempt to pierce the ice and snow so that she can get back to work.
I am not too far into the land of Aquarius when I am wacked with a snowball. Aquarius puts down his book on advanced quantum physics to reveal a sneaky look on his face.
“Thanks Aquarius, you just love to show your many goofy sides don’t you? I mean the Water Bearer who is also an Air sign, a Brainiac who can be a little brat. You have it all don’t you?”
Aquarius grins and admits that he likes to shake things up. Actually I prefer the snow ball to the conversation that ensues as Aquarius drones on about the physics of snow. “Hey, all of that is interesting,” I lie, “But what about how you feel when you see the snow fall? What does your heart say?” Aquarius freezes and not because it is cold. I said the word he hates the most – heart.
“You have to get out of your head and stop playing these avoidance games. Go feel the snow with your heart and soul.” I went too far – Aquarius is stunned. Going into his heart is too scary and he runs inside his head and back into his book.
“Wee whoopee – ya hooo.” The exclamations of joy are coming from Ms. Pisces – the Fish, who is having a wonderful time escaping into the fun of the snow. “I feel like I am riding the waves of ocean again.”
I ask her how a water sign – the Fish – can enjoy being in such a cold atmosphere.
“Oh but look at the hours of fun I can have here escaping all the horrors of the world. Any form of escape is wonderful and I can explore the mystical beauty of each snowflake. I can spend hours communing with the spirit of the snow in this world of perfection. It reminds of my days when I was a spiritual creature unencumbered by body. Ah snow….”
Pisces takes off – giggling and catching snowflakes on her tongue. Suddenly a huge flash in the distance startles me. It is Mr. Aries again seeking out the last renegade flake with his flame thrower. That is my cue to leave – I have come full circle. I am confident that somehow, in their own way, each sign will find a way to weather the storm, hopefully.
Stay warm.